Cook County Assessor’s Office Clerk: Can I help you?
[the brothers back him up and lift him onto the counter]
Jake: This is where they pay the taxes, right?
Cook County Assessor’s Office Clerk: Right.
Elwood: This money is for the year’s assessment of Saint Helen of the Blessed Shroud Orphanage in Calumet City, Illinois.
Jake: 5,000 bucks, it’s all there pal…
–The Blues Brothers
Let’s get one thing perfectly clear, as a fan, there is not team in the eastern conference I hate more than the Chicago Bulls.
The Pistons had Rodman and I always liked Rodman.
Lebron’s 48 special spent a year on replay on my DVR.
Who can get mad at Atlanta?
But the Bulls the @#@$@$ Bulls inspired quite a bit of passion in me. I never rooted against someone as vigurously as his Airness.
And he never seemed to miss.
So the fan in me was giddy with glee to pick and root against the Chicago Bulls. Because even though I called the Bulls right at the beginning of the year (a young team that with some luck has a punchers chance to steal a title in the next five years) , I fully expected them to die at the shore and fail on their mission from God.
Then I ran the numbers.
And I ran them again. And again.
I ran the numbers every single possible way.
Twice. Here, have a look:
In ever possible iteration, the Bulls emerge as the superior team. It would be really easy for me to dismiss the results and claim some cockamamie reason like heart or experience. In fact, I have incentives to stay on this track (I actually lose points for switching my pick).
But I’m not about easy, I’m about right.
Let’s pull this bandage off quickly then:
Chicago in 7 .
So it looks like Jake and Elwood get to save the orphanage after all.
Gah. I need to gargle.
P.S. My updated model for OKC-Memphis (which assumes Gasol is 100% legit) still says OKC in seven (but the difference is very slight about a point and a half).